Both hubby and the kiddo are sleeping and I should be doing about a million things but instead I'm taking a few minutes to sit down (a rarity at home anymore) and browse the interwebs (even more of a rarity).  It's so nice to be able to sit and rest and enjoy something without my sweet kiddo crying to be picked up or my dear husband asking me "what are you doing?" and hanging over my shoulder while I use the computer.  It's rare to have any time alone anymore.  Welcome to parenthood, I guess!

Hope you all are having fine holiday seasons.  Things are proceeding apace here.  The kidlet is flirting with crawling even when asleep, and I hear hubby waking up now from his nap.  Guess I'd better get dinner on....

Usually when I write a book post I like all the books.  This is because if a book sucks, I stop reading it.  I don't have any hard and fast rules like Nancy Pearl's 30 pages minus your age or whatever it is.  I just read and if the book isn't at least mildly engaging, I move on.  Too many books, too little time!  Ahem.  Anyway, here's a stack of stuff I'm returning to the library today:

Dave Barry's History of the Millenium (So Far):  This was just a collection of his end-of-the-year newspaper columns since 1999.  Maybe he's running out of money and pulled something together really quick to sell.  Once I realized that I had read everything in it once before (sadly, about thirty seconds after I checked it out), I put it in the 'return' pile.

How Smart Is Your Baby?: Develop And Nurture Your Newborn's Full Potential (Gentle Revolution)

How Smart is Your Baby? by Glenn and Janet Doman: It does have a catchy title and I thought it would be about developmental milestones and so on, but it's a regimen for making your baby smart.  Tips include: build a crawling track for your baby all the way around your bed so your baby can do laps while you sleep; blow an air horn at your baby to see how she responds to threatening sounds; create flashcards for your baby of increasing difficulty and start running through them when the kiddo is a week old; and so on.  I skimmed through this one just because it was too amusing to put down, but it was not a book I'd recommend for serious, baby-smartening reasons.  And if you are trying to smarten up your 1-week-old, you may have too much time on your hands.  I was lucky if I got my teeth brushed every day at that stage.

Forced to be Family by Cheryl Dellasega: I thought this might be helpful for getting along with in-laws but it turned out to be a collection of horror stories.  I guess it made me feel better...at least there are no fist fights with my husband's family (usually).

What Mothers Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing

What Mothers Do by Naomi Stadlen:  This one wasn't truly bad, it was just poorly written and very redundant.  I'd recommend Mask of Motherhood by Susan Maushart on the same subject.

What the Other Mothers Know by Michele Gendlmn, Ilene Graff and Donna Rosenstein:  This one wasn't bad either, just not really for me.  It tries to cover birth through college which I think is too large a scope, and it's written for yuppies with lots of money and nannies and such.

Before I Die by Jenny Downham:  This was one of those popular young adult novels where the teenage girl is dying of some illness (in this case, leukemia) and does typical teenage things and then dies at the end.  Why do people read these books? That is what I asked myself after speed reading it in three hours while wiping tears off my cheeks.

The Gun Seller

The Gun Seller by Hugh Laurie: Yep, that Hugh Laurie.  Dr. House (among other roles) wrote a book.  And you know what?  It was actually the only decent book in the bunch.  I loved this book.  Hugh Laurie writes a good funny story in the detective/mystery vein.  Thanks to Fauxmiddlechild (I think!) for pointing this one out to me.

Gotta go, hubby wants to use the computer...

Eric and I went shopping for baby clothes last week and he kept bringing me over 'boy' clothes to look at, and I kept saying no.  Then he said, "I thought you weren't going to give in to gender stereotypes!"  Eek!  Am I going to turn my little girl into a princess??  I hope not.  I don't know, I just want her to look like a girl and not a boy.  It shouldn't be so important to me.  It's silly to assign gender identities to children.  I feel like I should turn in my NOW membership, quit my job, and stay home and bake pies if I give in to society and buy her 'girl' clothes.  Why can't stores just sell 'baby' clothes and leave the whole gendering thing out of it???

So anyway, that's the latest parenting crisis/guilt trip I'm dealing with.  Lorelei will probably turn out just fine in her brown Pooh overalls that Eric picked out, even if they are boyish.  And she'll probably be fine in the pink fluffy stuff we got by the truckload at the baby shower, and she will probably be okay in the gender neutral black pants and circus-theme onesie I picked out (that took me about 45 minutes to find).  But I feel like I'm damaging her baby psyche for life if I put her in a dinosaur sleeper, or denying years of feminism if I put her in a Disney Princess shirt.  Hopefully she turns out less neurotic than her mom, if nothing else!

A few of these are work related, but hopefully not too boring.

Infotopia: How Many Minds Produce Knowledge

Infotopia: How Many Minds Produce Knowledge by Cass Sunstein: Interesting look at, as the title says, how people come together to produce knowledge.  Hubby read it first as it had a bit to do with his dissertation (rational choice theory, the use of heuristics) and since these things also touch on patron search behavior I found it interesting too from a librarian standpoint.  Plus it also discussed technological tools like wikis and blogs and their part in forming knowledge. 

Everything Is Miscellaneous: The Power of the New Digital Disorder

Everything is Miscellaneous by David Weinburger: Fascinating book about how the inherent disorder of the internet will teach us new things about organizing and searching for information.  Definitely recommended highly for  librarians. 

Survival of the Sickest: A Medical Maverick Discovers Why We Need Disease

I was hoping to get some time to type but the kiddo doesn't want to nap.  We had our first bout of stomach flu this week.  I was worried about how it would go because I have a strange and powerful fear of vomiting--I could see myself shrieking and dropping the kiddo if she puked on me.  Luckily for her I mostly just felt sorry for her and didn't freak too much.  When Eric was throwing up I shrieked and ran away though.  Then I got to clean up the bathroom counter.  Ick.  Hubby doesn't get the cuddling and sympathy, but then again he is also supposedly old enough to clean up the bathroom counter himself if he gets sick on it. 

Well, I've lysol-ed all household surfaces and done tons of laundry--hopefully we've got this bug licked for now...

I'm having my first "sick day because the kiddo is sick" today--we tried dropping her off at day care this morning since her temperature was normal and she seemed mostly okay, but they called me at 11 to come get her since she wouldn't eat or sleep and had a temperature.  She slept a lot yesterday which was probably my first clue that she was getting sick.  Then in the afternoon she had a temp of about 99 degrees and was SUPER crabby.  I gave her some tylenol and she was back to her perky little self.  She now has a little fever, not even up to 101, and eats and sleeps fine for me, so I'm not too worried, but the day care people wanted to know what the doctor said.  Hmm, hadn't thought to take her to a doctor since she's not *that* sick.  I always just kind of assumed that kids will get sick and you don't really have to take them to the doctor unless there's something the doctor could actually do about it.  Now I'm worried that I'm a bad mom even though I know logically I am not.  Oh, well, what would motherhood be without guilt??

We've been busy here @ casa de Sam, but I thought I'd update you all...

LV is loving day care, which is a relief.  She has even cried once when we came to pick her up because she wanted to stay and keep playing!   The teachers there are a great group of people and she loves to be around the other kids.  She has even survived her first day care cold, even though it almost killed her dad.   What's more, having her in day care really, really helps me enjoy the time I do spend with her.  We had an absolutely lovely weekend together, which has been helped by the fact that I know I'm going to work tomorrow and she is going to be looked after by someone else :-)

At work I got a new MacBook which is also lovely and a thing of beauty and hubby is so very jealous.  I want to get an iPod Touch to go with it.  I was just about to order one but then the cat got sick and I decided to use the money to take him to the vet instead.  That's how much I care about my pets.  I kid!  But I may end up getting a new iPod because I can't seem to find my old one anywhere and I sadly can't live without it especially when I am travelling, which I do a lot for work.  Luckily the cat wasn't too sick so the visit and meds weren't too expensive.
 
Anyhow, the kiddo now has a pretty steady 7pm bedtime and sleeps till at least 5 every morning (knock on wood) so I'm able to use the evenings to get caught up on reading and other stuff from the last five months.  So what have I missed?  :-)

I don't think I've done one of these since before the baby was born, and that was over four months ago.  So here's what I've been reading.

Coyote Blue

Coyote Blue by Christopher Moore: I read this one right after the kiddo was born so I don't remember a lot of it, except that it was interesting and funny and part of it took place in Montana.

Plum Lovin' (A Stephanie Plum Novel)

Plum Lovin' by Janet Evanovich: I took this one to the birth center with me in the mistaken belief that I'd be bored and sitting around.  Hah!  It was a good quick read as they are, but it annoyed me that the love triangle became a love rectangle.  Seriously, why are all these guys into Stephanie Plum?

My Secret Life on the McJob by Jerry Newman: A business professor works fast food for a year and writes a book about it.  Fast food sucks.  Be glad you don't work in fast food.  Unless you do, in which case I'm sorry I just dissed your job.

Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance

Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama: An excellent book about race relations in the United States.  Seriously.  He wrote this long before he had any political ambitions and it is wonderful.  I would *love* for this intelligent, thoughtful, and honest guy to be our next president, and you will feel the same when you read this book.

Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care

Pushed: The Painful Truth about Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block:  Discusses how childbirth is becoming more and more medicalized, to the point where obstetricians are recommending c-sections to women as the first and only option for any type of birth.  Don't read this book if you are planning on having a baby anytime soon.  It's pretty depressing, unless you like major abdominal surgery for no real reason. 

The Mask of Motherhood: How Becoming a Mother Changes Our Lives and Why We Never Talk About It

The Mask of Motherhood by Susan Maushart: I found this book to be very helpful.  My generation has, as a rule, no real experience with babies and children.  Before my baby was born I had never changed a diaper or spent more than a couple hours with a baby.  This was not the case for previous generations and explained, at least for me, some of the trouble new mothers have in adjusting to the role and finding some sort of balance or sense in everything that's being thrown at you from friends, family, and society in general.

Bad Monkeys

Bad Monkeys by Matt Ruff: I got an advance copy of this at ALA Midwinter in Seattle, and it's another one I read right after the baby was born and don't really remember except that it was highly interesting and kept me guessing.  It would make a good action movie.

Well, the baby is crying and Eric is yelling at her, so that's probably enough books for now....

The kidlet is peacefully snoozing (but for how long?) next to me as I type.  I've been working from home half time the past five weeks since hubby is teaching a class and I have really enjoyed spending more time with the baby.  I didn't like maternity leave at all.  I'm much happier when I have some sort of identity/work outside the home, as much as I love my daughter.  But lately I've had to put up with all sorts of crap about how "mothers should stay home with their children," mostly coming from Eric's friends and family.  I have been told how it's selfish for moms to put their kids in day care and how we have to put the baby's needs first.

I'm trying not to let it bother me but it does.  First of all, if I didn't work outside the home, the kidlet and I wouldn't have medical insurance, not to mention food and shelter.  Sure, hubby works too but his job is temporary and he doesn't provide us insurance.  I suppose I could quit, but after Eric's temporary job is up he may not get another appointment.  Then we'd end up on welfare.  How'd you like that, family values folks?

Secondly, even though I never expected or wanted it, I actually have a 'career.'  I set out working to live, just wanting to pay the bills, but I've ended up in a tenure track job, publishing articles and possibly even a book, presenting frequently around the US, and holding elected leadership roles in various associations.  Further, I enjoy all of these things.  If I stopped working even for a few years, I have no illusions that my career would end.  You can deny it all you want but my dropping out of the work force to raise children would be an enormous setback and I don't think I can accept that or start all over again in a few years. 

Thirdly, the day care that LV will be attending starting in August is just excellent.  I wouldn't hesitate to say that they will probably do a better job 'raising' the baby day to day than I would.  The people taking care of her *want* to spend all day with babies.  She will get to play with other kids (which she loves) in an intellectually stimulating environment, rather than sitting on the living room floor playing with toys while I watch Scrubs reruns.  No, I'm not really that bad of a mom, but as I said above I need an identity beyond 'mom' and I have a job that I'm successful at and want to continue.

Finally, this notion that 'mothers should stay at home with the children' is actually a relatively modern invention.  Those who could afford nurses or nannies to raise the children in the past definitely hired them.  Those who couldn't generally were the ones being hired as nurses or nannies and either took their children to work with them or left them with a relative or friend.

I know I'm mostly preaching to the choir here, but I had to voice my frustrations with our stupid sexist society.  The baby's waking up now so I'm going to go spend some time playing with her before I have to go into the office.

Next time: I complain about something else when I probably should just keep my mouth shut!